Simple Sunday #4: Part-Time Drama

A lot has been going on lately. Mostly me, going a bit insane. You see, most of my time is spent at home. I know, most people would die, to do that! But really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong or anything. I LOVE my home. But sometimes, you just want to get out. Do something. See people. Have a real conversation...

It got me thinking lately, I want a part-time job. Nothing crazy. Just something to get out of the house. I work from home right now. A ton of reasons. Most of which, lead right back, to square one. I can't go back to the hospital, where my Dad spent so much time. Sick. So very sick.

Well, I happen to work for that same place. So I work part time. Mostly from home. Or wherever I have the internet. And put in about 20 hours a week, at one of the "branches" of the hospital. In a nearby city. Mostly doing rounds, working on tough cases, filling in wherever help is needed.

But I want to see people. Talk to them. You know, you are going a little nuts...when you start having full on convos, with the pups. And I find myself, asking them, what I should cook for dinner. How do they feel about a certain color palette. Do they think we should go to the mountains, or some large city, on our next road trip.

Yeah, it's getting serious. So I was bumming around Facebook the other day, and ran into a job listing. For a local Dog Bakery. Here in town. Probably a 20 minute drive, from where I live. In fact, I frequently do work, at a DOH, not far from the Dog Bakery. Which, by the way, I had no idea was there!

So I clicked on a few links. And found myself at the bakery's website. Applying for a job. That I'm probably overqualified for. But who cares! I can get out of the house, for 15-20 hours a week. Score. And I'll get to bake. That for me, sealed the deal!

Maybe it's just me. Or the fact, that I haven't worked anywhere else, other than a hospital or my parents' business, in about 10 years. But that application was insanely long! And asked some rather odd questions. But I kept going. 20 minutes later, I had figured out a few friends, that I could list as references. Because the owner didn't want to talk to "hospital people." Or relatives. And I couldn't find the last manager from Target. The last "real" job, that this owner considered, from my application.

I kept submitting the application. And she kept rejecting it. Asking for more info. I'm not sure, just what else she wanted. I did list my BS in HNFS. And my RD. But that's it. She was so pumped, that a real food scientist, would be baking for her shop. It's just the rest of my application, that she didn't like.

Say what? No, I won't put my puppy through another round of the runs. Because you want me to feed her your dog food. She's been through enough. With 2 changes in dog food. And she's only 3 months old!

And I won't threaten my Mom, to buy your dog food, for her dog. Who already has issues eating. She's a rescue pup. I'm 100% OK with working weekends. But not holidays. The entire reason I am still here, is to keep my Mom company. So she can get through the first year or two, without my Dad.

So we hit a road block. The biggest factor, being pay. I'm OK with working a part time, minimum wage job. But the lady did not like that answer. She didn't like that I wouldn't force my dogs, to eat her products. And she didn't like, that I hadn't worked anywhere else, besides a hospital setting, in almost 10 years.

I'm pretty sure, she never accepted my application. Because after 2 hours of this horse play, I gave up. Went to pick up my Mom from work. And began enjoying my weekend. Just makes me think. I did the hiring for my parents. It's not an easy job. But you also don't have to be rude. I ALWAYS took every application. You just never know.

In today's newspaper, I saw an ad, for a part time secretary. For a local church. They've been advertising since October. I know this, because I was looking for a puppy. And I kept coming across this ad. I just might call them this week. What could be so hard? The job requirements are answering a phone, counting the weekly offering, working in Word, Excel, and Power Point, spreading our faith, and making copies. All things I've done in the past. Again, I'm not looking for a full time position. Just something to get me out of the house. This could be it!

Thankful Thursday #2: That Guy

I've been thinking a lot lately. My life really does feel like, well like someone has thrown all the cards in the air. It wasn't that long ago, that I had a man at my side, that I truly thought I'd spend my life with. We talked about kiddos. Enjoyed our fur babies. Planned for a future. I traveled half the week with him. He spent his life, making mine better.

But life happened. All of a sudden, the fact that he lived across the country from my family, it mattered. His job, the one he couldn't leave, it became a tough place. Something we had never faced before. And my Dad's health, well it was #1 on both our lists...

So I came home. To take care of my Dad. Slowly I began that process. That letting go. I don't think HE saw it coming. In fact, I know he didn't. I went through three homes, nearby, that he had bought. At the time, and in fact if you asked him right now, he'd tell you he bought them for me. So we would have a place to be. And I could spend time with my family.

I went through those homes. Took my personal things. And packed up the rest. Slowly. It was a process. One that took a while. One that I did painstakingly, through the wee hours of the night. And one day, I made that tough call. He came. And we had that heartbreaking talk.

The one thing I will say, is that he completely understood. He had lost his dad. Suddenly, without any kind of warning. And he totally got it. Why I needed to be home. Why my Dad needed me. Why at this point of my life, I needed to be home. He got it. Didn't agree with parting ways. But he understood.

For months, I know he hounded my besties. He wanted to make sure I was a OK. He followed my social media. Which I was doing a horrible job at keeping up. He was sending me encouraging text messages. But we didn't talk. Life was just going 100 miles an hour.

A lot has happened since. My Dad's passing, being the toughest, and hardest transition. He gave me time. We are taking years here. He gave me time! The time I needed to grief. He UNDERSTOOD, every single second. He had been there before. He knew what I needed.

And when the time was right, he called. Then came to visit. Then held me, as I completely crumbled. Because the thing is, the love didn't die. Like it never died between me, and Dr. Baseball. It just changed. But the love was still there.

Today, I have a best friend. That I can just send a simple text to, and he knows my life is completely in a tailspin. At the same time, we can have a twitter convo, for 3 hours, in the middle of the night. Or we can FaceTime some ridiculous comical hour. That has my sides hurting, because we laugh that hard.

It's crazy where life takes us. How relationships can completely change. I'll be the first person to admit, when I'm uncomfortable, I walk away. I build walls, so people never get to know me. I'm the kind of woman, that is quiet, and comfortable with being independent.

But I will admit this. I NEED people too. Even if I don't want to admit it. I NEED them! Like I need oxygen to breathe. And I'm very lucky, to have friends, that fight to stay in my life. No matter the circumstance. They fight. And I'm lucky!

2015 taught me so much! If you've been hanging around these parts, than you know that much! But I look at 2016 as a rebirth. My Mom and I, are slowly learning to live without my Dad. The toughest thing, I'll ever have to experience. Life is so different.

Eventually, I'll have to make the decision, of what's next. You know, I still dream of getting married. And one day having babies. Lots of babies! I know. I even shock myself sometimes. But this year, is making those other tough decisions.

Do I stay in my hometown? Stay close, to take care of my Mom. Buy a home near the hospital. And start my next chapter, working for this hospital, that is so dear to my heart. Do I move back, to my home. The community that welcomed me, with open arms. To my home. Nearly 15 years ago, I moved there. And I fell in love! Or do I chase after dreams. That were once so vivid! And move across the country?

I'm not sure. And that's were January 2016 finds me. Making those decisions. I'm still not really back to work. I do a lot of virtual stuff, for a few hospitals. I fill in at the DOH, a local hospital, and do some community education. Enough to keep my credentials current. But not enough, to really solidify things.

But that's OK. It's been a tough couple of years. When you look at it, not long ago, I had my life mapped out. With the people I wanted. These days, it's putting the puzzle together. Hanging on tight. Listening to my gut. Not taking crap from other people. Mostly, praying on my knees every single night. I know, my Dear Lord wouldn't bring me to it. If he could help me through it.

So 2016, it's me and you. Making these tough decisions. Deciding which way to go. Eventually, life won't feel so crazy. And the millions of years you went to school, won't feel like a total waste. And one day, you'll have your own family. And you'll look back at this time, and think, I made it. No matter what anyone else said. I MADE IT!!! And I have a pretty amazing best friend! ❤